Discover more from My Ugly Mouth
The Nicholist #3
It's officially (Donna) Summer!
Welcome to The Nicholist! My weekly list where I gush on everything that’s got me obsessed.
This. Him. That. Swoon. 🥵
Donna Summer Giving Vocals Down
Among my most inner circle, I am notoriously known for once stating, "Donna Summer sings like a white girl." Blasphemous, I agree! Come for me, you should! Pero likeee my parents are ex-gang members who came of age in the 90s. We were not listening to no Donna Summer!
My only reference to her came as an adult listening to her whisper and orgasm to a disco beat for 16 minutes. However, after watching her fabulous documentary Love to Love You, Donna Summer, I now see the ignorance, lies, and Donna slander I have contributed to the world. Donna can sing and SANG, and this performance of "If There Is Music There" is my favorite example of her throwing down.
It’s free, gurl. Just do it.
Flyana Boss - “I Wish”
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This feels obvious—cause aren't we all?! "Hello, Christ?" I'm 'bout to sin again..." is the TikTok generation’s "Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret." But in the shadow of Kanekalon lives my favorite bar of the song:
“I'm a great fuck, but a better lover.
Open carry, pussy lethal, like I'm Danny Glover.”
Hair Plugs & Heartache
Last week, in the heart of Downtown Los Angeles, I made my standup comedy debut. All in the name of charity (donate if you’re a good person)! Due to my self-love and delusion, I like to think of myself as naturally hilarious. But being funny haha doesn't always translate to being haha funny. Like, have you seen Alyssa Edwards do a comedy challenge? So my road to a side-splitting tight five wasn’t easy.
But I have an Asian Mom, which means I do homework, and success is the only option. So, I studied hard by consuming countless standup routines. And the biggest lesson I learned is that most standup comedians are not funny. Matteo Lane’s Hair Plugs & Heartache, on the other hand, was the rare bit that actually made me literally LOL and gave me a basis for how to perform my jokes. However, being a hot comedian is an oxymoron. You’re not Hannah Montana. You can’t have the best of both worlds!
“CHURCH GIRL” to “PLASTIC OFF THE SOFA” to “VIRGO’S GROOVE”
The rumors are true. I’m that basic bitch who’s just not that into Beyoncé. Beyoncé is a queen and untouchable—I totally get it. But I'm a casual Bey consumer. I rarely anticipate drops, my favorite Beyoncé album is Destiny's Child's The Writing's on the Wall, and the only Beyoncé concert I've been to was Solange's 2014 Coachella set—where she was a surprise guest.
At the charity event last week where I performed standup, I induced shock and eye rolls when I admitted to not listening to Renaissance. I was urged to listen to it (cause what do I live in a cave?!) and did it on my trek home that night. I loved it, duh, and my favorite part was the string of tracks from “CHURCH GIRL” to “PLASTIC OFF THE SOFA” to “VIRGO’S GROOVE.”
One thing about me is that I am an album guy. Where you have to listen to 12+ tracks to get the whole experience, where transitions between songs and auditory movement of pieces matter. These three tracks back to back really worked me the fuck out to the point where I actually find myself listening to them over Renaissance as a whole.