The Nicholist #7
Red, White & Real Housewife Delulu
Welcome to The Nicholist! My weekly list of pop culture where I gush on everything that’s got me obsessed.
Red, White & Royal Blue
Red, White & Royal Blue was my Book of the Month Pick in December of 2019, and it’s been a guilty 🤫 guilty pleasure ever since. Embarrassingly, I was pretty geeked about the film adaptation. And thankfully, it was excellent! It was giving rom-com how rom-com should give rom-com.
My 5-star Goodreads Review of the Novel (2019):
It hit all the spots for me. I was never bored, I was completely enthralled, it made me laugh, it made me “awwwww!”, it didn’t require too much brain power to enjoy, it made me tear up a bit, it made me cancel plans just to read it instead, it aided in the curbing of my seasonal depression.
The movie strips a lot from the book to hone in on the faggotry of the story, and sorry ‘bout it, but I loved that it felt like a gay adaptation of a queer book (RW&RB is written by a non-gay queer). It’s a fun, dumb, and surprisingly sometimes touching rated-R romantic comedy with hot people. I mean, cmon—watch it already!
Shout out: love the new orchestral version of Oliver Sims' song "Fruit" that plays in the end credits—it's a bop. Special shout out: justice for Lana Del Rey's superior and underappreciated orchestral version of "Young and Beautiful" from The Great Gatsby.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Trailer ❄️
Hi, Baby Gorgeous! Salt Lake City is back—and these icy girls are bringing the heat. I was frightened a Jen Shah-less season might disappoint, especially after last year’s eh showing. But the trailer promises a return to full RHOSLC form with the friend group (where none of them are actually friends) engaging in even more fierce fights, two new Housewives who seem to have arrived full of baggage, and the return of the hilarious alleged cult leader Mary M. Cosby. From the trailer alone it is a welcome return—especially with these gems:
Mary waltzing into a store and saying “somebody farted.”
Mary to my fave Lisa Thee Barlow: “Do you have a mute button?” “No I don’t. I’m on play all the time.”
New full-time Housewife Angie K. to Meredith, “You look like a trampoline with eyes.”
And Heather Gay (whose memoir I loved) asking Mary, “Do you think I look inbred?” and without missing a beat Mary responds, “I do.”
The Real Housewives of New York City 🍎
I guess this week the Housewives have a chokehold on me…
I’m a very “I like to be a part of the original plan” person. If I’m not part of the ground floor of something, I feel left out and that it’s not for me. I’m pretty complicated that way—and would be a great Housewife because of it. So the reboot of The Real Housewives of New York City was exciting because I could start the franchise without binging over a decade's worth of episodes. I’m a recent convert, and the only Housewives in addition to Salt Lake City I consume are Beverly Hills and Candiace Dillard Bassett’s music career (name a better song than “Drive Back!”). I’m happy to have another city on my roster, and as the point of The Nicholist—I'm obsessed!
For the same reason I stan Fifth Harmony, I love that most of them aren't white—Brynn is mixed race, so technically, most aren't. Also, loving how light and unviolently dramatic it is, making it the perfect amuse-bouche for the chaotic RHOSLC season ahead. And lastly, the chic, awkward, equally down to Earth and head-in-the-clouds lesbian boss chick, Jenna Lyons. She's an icon, and I am giving her a Nicholas Favorite White Woman Badge.
RHONY Power Rankings: 6 - Jessel, 5 - Erin, 4 - Sai, 3 - Ubah, 2 - Brynn, 1 - Jenna.
The New York Times Magazine: The Future of Rap is Female
In celebration of the 50th anniversary of Hip Hop, Niela Orr writes a fabulous feature for The New York Times Magazine on the spearheading female rappers of today—their rise, where they stand, and how they’re the future of hip hop.
Frequent My Ugly Mouth readers might have sensed by now that I love female rap music (note: female). Every issue of The Nicholist has featured a rap girlie—from City Girls to Saweetie to KenTheMan. I have zero interest in male rappers, and Orr delves into my exact reasons why.
25 New Summer Words You Need Right Now by
not only made me laugh this week, but it also taught me some of my new favorite terms: Cigarette Wife, Delulu, and Subscription Body. As a Dog MILF, myself, I highly recommend a read.
Saweetie is my mom's longtime prend's granddaughter! 🇵🇭
Haha thanks for the shoutout! Glad to make you laugh.