The Nicholist #6
A shopping guide of fabulous items that no one will ever need.
Welcome to The Nicholist! My weekly list of pop culture where I gush on everything that’s got me obsessed.
I have an irresponsibly high credit card limit and unbelievably low-self esteem. This means depending on the sway of my bipolar mood swings, I can usually be caught in the dangerous—yet mood soothing—act of impulse shopping. Like a desperate housewife taking out the trash on her husband's disposable income, I swipe my blue like-the-night sky stainless-steel Capital One Venture card on many a fabulous item that I do not nor would not ever need. And after an early summer of bad habits and a more heightened frequency of impulse buys, I am forcing myself to be shopping celibate in August.
As I attempt credit card sobriety, I invite you to shop in my honor. Here are a few frivolous purchases that inspired my No Buy August.
Lisa Rinna's Nude Selfie by Drunk Drawn ($24.95)
"Oh, Rinna!" I lovingly thought doom-scrolling through Instagram when the ex-Real Housewife dropped the original nude selfie—a wild move if it were anyone else. My bathroom's decor theme is nudity, so when I came across this artful recreation by Drunk Drawn it became a MUST-HAVE. On exhibit with line art of butts housed in a Targét mirrored frame and a watercolor portrait of Lana Del Rey, my bathroom is now exquisitely decorated with an air of naked soulful desperation.
House of Halliwell Whitelighter Candle ($35)
There's nothing like the warmth of childhood nostalgia—or the fire of a celebrity/pop culture-themed candle. Truly. I am the proud purchaser of the Kasey Musgraves candle Slow Burn by Boy Smells ($52) and a random Esty Clueless "Virgin Who Can't Drive" Brittany Murphy religious candle. So, it was kismet when the official Charmed rewatch podcast, House of Halliwell, released their Whitelighter candle at the tail of my own rewatch journey. I keep my Charmed nerdom on full display with my candle placed atop my Book of Shadows ($39.99) replica on my living room coffee table.
Eating Out: All You Can Eat ($1,070.33)
My favorite places to eat: Au Lac, Del Taco, Good Town Donuts USA, Philz Coffee, Seabirds Kitchen, Veg'd, Vegan by El Zamorano, and the vending machine at work that sells strawberry Pop-Tarts and accepts credit cards.
TheGirlJTWorld Mugshot Mug ($20)
City Girl JT is having an It Girl summer. In July, the newly minted Galore covergirl dropped her in-your-face freestyle "No Bars" to serious acclaim (including a prestigious Song of the Summer badge from me), got into her Mother Teresa bag with the launch of No Bars Reform (a resource site for formerly incarcerated women), and debuted her brand TheGirlJTWorld. Mixing her weirdo fashion sense with her scamming roots and garnishing it with a heavy dose of cunt, JT presented a bright and bold collection of fashion and merchandise. I didn't think I could pull off a crop top plastered with "CUNTY" across it, so I settled for the cheeky Mugshot Mug. And thank God, because the capsule collection is all sold out!
Pop Pantheon “Niche Legend” Dad Hat ($30)
My love for pop music and hatred for the sun are fed by my new favorite summer accessory. This chic dad hat is official merch from one of my favorite podcasts Pop Pantheon—a pop music podcast that reflects on the legacy of a pop star and ranks them in the official Pop Pantheon. What's a Niche Legend? Think of your favorite pop girlie that in your house is a personal chart-topper, but IRL, she and the Billboard chart have never met. My fave Niche Legend? Carly Rae Jepsen (stream The Loveliest Time).
Final thoughts: Is one of my true weaknesses merch?
Not me clicking on "The Loveliest Time" and thinking "I thought that song was the loneliest time??" before realizing that I had missed an ENTIRE ALBUM RELEASE, woops :')